Home Guides How to Stimulate A Clitoris? From Fingers, Tongues to Sex Toys

How to Stimulate A Clitoris? From Fingers, Tongues to Sex Toys

by Jane Louis

If your partner has a clitoris, odds are that you will need more than just penetration to make her orgasm. 

And while clit stimulation is quite straightforward, chances are if not done right, she's not enjoying sex as much as she should.

But worry not, because here is everything you need to know about clit orgasm.

What is a Good or Bad Clit Stimulation?

Clit stimulation is an extremely important technique when it comes to emphasizing women's pleasure, as it can be the critical factor that will make a woman orgasm or not.

That’s why it is crucial to know what is good or bad clit stimulation.

The clit is spoiled with 8,000 nerves, which makes it a very sensitive spot, therefore the amount of pleasure that a clit orgasm can provide to women is significantly higher when compared to male orgasm.

While we all want to have a good experience, the way that you stimulate the clit makes a big difference and maximum sexual pleasure is achievable only if you start right.

There can be some variation between what women find pleasurable but are not commonly known as enjoyable.

While the areas surrounding the clitoris can also be pleasurable, touching it directly at the right moment is important, especially when she is aroused.

Stimulation can and should be varied but the circular and up and down movements tend to be most intense.

Pulsating and pulling can also be surprisingly intense though.

vagina clit stimulation 4

The amount of pressure that you use also plays a role. Medium pressure is typically best, so, avoid too much or too little.

Good clit stimulation is the one that is so pleasurable that your partner doesn't want you to stop.

Bad stimulation is typically avoiding touching the right spot and yes, the right spot changes during the process.

You want to place movements that are firm but also target the right area. The vulva is close by, but stimulating it usually won't help much.

Also, make sure to vary the movements as they can be more stimulating when you avoid doing the same thing constantly.

The pressure that is too firm or too light may be nice at times but tends to be bad for an extended period of time. So, avoid extremes or over-stimulation.

bad vagina clit stimulation

With these being said, below are the 5 key tips for avoiding bad clit stimulation when trying to spoil her with some mind-blowing clit masturbation.

1. Don't go straight for the clitoris

Unfortunately, most men think that all they need to do to get a woman to orgasm is to rub or lick her clitoris.

The truth is…when sex begins you shouldn't go all in, because if she's not ready you can easily hurt her or turn her off altogether.

So, instead of going straight into clit stimulation, try to make her comfortable. You can start with a massage or by arousing her first by stimulating her other erogenous zones (such as hair, neck, breasts, inner thigh, etc.).

2. Dry clit stimulation can be painful

Lubrication not only makes penetration easier and pain-free but is also a key factor for clit pleasure.

The clitoris is a very sensitive spot that needs to be wet before stimulation, when this doesn't happen, it can cause irritation and pain.

vagina clit lube

3. Start gently before going harder

Because the clitoris is very sensitive, it is important that you keep the speed and pressure limited right at the start of the clit stimulation, while you are trying to satisfy your partner's needs.

Then, what are the right speed and pressure? Unfortunately, there’s no single answer as it differs from woman to woman.So, you’d better test and try while listening to her verbal and non-verbal feedback.

4. Don’t rush it!

Bad stimulation tends to be rushed or forced. It takes a while for the body to respond and become aroused.

So, rushing is a big turn-off and can actually make the experience bad overall.

Also, a rushed orgasm will leave a woman an unsatisfied feeling, which sometimes can be worse than just not having the orgasm.

5. Her reaction Matters

You will know if your clit stimulation skills are off. If a woman does not get wet or she keeps moving away from the stimulation, that is a red light.

Also, if a woman suggests skipping "that part" and being done with it, it definitely means you are doing it wrongly.

Believe me, no woman can resist a good clit stimulation, not to mention telling you to stop or skip.

orgasm 1

How to stimulate clit with fingers?

A lot of people tend to believe that the clit is only the visible part that resembles a little pearl on the top of the vulva.

But the clit is a lot bigger than what you can see and every woman responds to clit pleasure in different ways.

Use your hands or have your partner use theirs to explore the area.

As you notice your body opening up, use a light lubricant or your own body to avoid any friction that could make the experience painful.

Find the clitoris at the top of your pubic area and slowly stimulate it gently with your finger. Use a circular motion or a rocking motion gently.

Take periodic breaks to continue exploring the area.

Over time, you'll notice that the clitoris actually starts to expand. This means that your body is becoming more aroused.

vagina clit stimulation 2

Pay attention to what feels pleasurable. Continue teasing the clitoris.

As your intensity level grows, maintain the same pattern of movement with your hand on the clitoris directly and you will likely have an orgasm.

For those of you who are looking for a detailed guideline regarding finger movements.

Below are a few techniques that you should try when aiming for an epic clit orgasm.

1. The "V" Movement

Some women are extremely sensitive when it comes to clit stimulation, making this option a perfect way to induce pleasure.

By forming a "V" shape using your pointer and middle finger, you can rub the sides of the clit up and down, engaging in a rhythm that will induce a pleasurable massage in the search for an orgasm.

2. The Up and Down Movement

By placing a finger on the top of the clit hood, and rubbing it in a tender yet steady, downwards movement before bringing your finger back up, you will induce this clit stimulation to arouse the clit and start the journey of an explosive burst of emotions.

You can also provoke more pleasure by stimulating the other areas of the clit as the sides or even exploring the entrance of the vulva.

vagina clit stimulation 3

3. Circular Movements

This option is perhaps one of the most popular clit stimulation, and for a good reason.

You should start by placing one finger on the top of the clit and start a gentle and natural circular motion around the clit.

If you want to take things further, then you can make the circle bigger or smaller and experience how your body reacts to the change of movements.

4. Side to Side Movement

This is another great option for more sensitive women.

By putting two fingers together, you can swing them side to side (left and right) while gently stroking the clit, depending on how sensitive or preference, you can intensify the movement or also increase the pressure of the impact of your fingers against the clit.

5. Tapping Movement

This option might not be for everyone but is definitely worth trying.

Tapping the clit is somehow a usual approach to clit stimulation, but it can spark some electrical pleasure responses. 

You can try light taps, and then increase the intensity for more heavy tapping or even mix up things and add some rubbing in between and witness how this can awake ridiculous intense orgasms.

vagina clit stimulation 1

How to stimulate clit with tongue?

Oral sex is the most amazing activity one can ever do if he/she master the art of doing it.

The tongue can be a great and more sensitive way to achieve stimulation.

Since the tongue is also naturally lubricated, you may find that this is easier and more pleasurable.

Just like you do with your fingers. Use the tongue to explore the area. One of the advantages of the mouth is that the tongue is very sensitive. Surround and lap the clitoris.

Don't bite it but instead use your mouth to gently suck on it, adding some pressure to the area.

This will also take time so don't rush the process. Use the tongue to stimulate the clitoris directly. rocking it back and forth.

As the intensity increases, speed up.

vagina clit oral lick

It may take some time to achieve maximum pleasure so be patient with the process.

Every clit is different so there isn't right or wrong when it comes to clit pleasure. So, the way how you use your tongue will also vary based on what your partner likes.

Communication is important, but recognizing her breathing and sounds can help you to understand what she likes.

For example, you should start slow, up and down, or even in circles. And if she's up for it, you can also suck gently to make her reach cloud 9.

And of course, if you want to take things further, you can also finger her with your fingers while licking her clit.

While some women like gently licks with a quick motion fingering, others rather have a more possessive tongue rubbing with a gentle fingering.

What’s more? If you are a woman who wants to experience oral stimulation while doing solo masturbation. It is also possible.

There are some uniquely designed tongue vibrators such as Lelo Ora 3 and Fantasy for Her Tongue Vibe. They are designed to mimic licking sensation.

Tongue vibrators

Read a detailed Ora 3 review

Achieving clit orgasm with oral stimulation can be one of the most powerful orgasms that a woman gets to experience, so be creative and make it count. 

How to Stimulate Clit with Sex Toys?

It doesn't matter how great your sex life is, sex toys will always help you to make things more fun.

Clit sex toys are a great way to stimulate yourself. Since it can take time to get in the mood, a sex toy is a fantastic option.

It won't get tired like your hands and you can typically adjust the sensitivity and speed to find what works best for you.

The addition of sex toys can definitely help you to get the best of clit stimulation. But what are the best toys for clit stimulation?

1. Clit Suction Toy

clit suction vibrator

Discover the best clit suction toys 

Clit sucking vibrators, or clit stimulators, are some of the most incredible sex toys on the market created exclusively to enhance female pleasure.

Unlike standard vibrators, clit stimulators have a hole that is positioned above the clitoris, which causes an immediate air suction, which arouses the clit almost instantly.

Some toys have more settings than others so you may want to see what's available.

My personal favorite clit sucker is Womanizer Premium 2.

It features the best air pleasure I’ve ever experienced.

Meanwhile, there is a wide range of intensity (14 levels) to choose from, which makes it an ideal toy for both gentle and intense clit stimulation.

Womanizer Premium is a go-for toy I would recommend to anyone, but if you are tight on budget but still want to have a taste of how clit suction feels like, Satisfyer Pro 3 can be a good start. It has a firm finish and can be very intense.


Read a detailed Premium 2 Review

Yes, clit sucking toys, in general, can provide quite an intense experience so start off on the easy side and work your way up.

Since it can be a little intense, especially if you're not used to it, consider getting started with your hands and then moving to the toy after you're ready. Or apply some lubes to desensitize your clit a bit while using a sucker.

2. Clit Vibrators

clitoral vibrator

Discover the best clit vibrators

Clitoral vibrators are the most common and the most desirable sex toy for specific external stimulation.

This type of toy comes in a variety of sizes (usually fairly small) and shapes. The toy will lay on top of the clitoris area and when turned on, will vibrate.

These toys are typically also adjustable for their intensity. I prefer to start off slowly and then increase the intensity as I want.

My favorite clit vibrator is We-vibe Tango X. It is extremely powerful and discreet (it looks like lipstick).

Every time I turn it on and place it on my clit, I am guaranteed a blast of pleasure with a mind-blowing orgasm.

we-vibe Tango X review

Read a detailed Tango X review

When I want some hands-free clit stimulation, I will go for Lovense Ferri

This little clip-able panty vibrator that fulfills all my fancy for both bedroom and public play. 

And it is controllable remotely, which means your long-distance partner can control your vibration anywhere in the world!

lovense ferri review

Read a detailed Lovense Ferri Review

There are plenty of amazing clit vibes in the market as it is one of the most wanted types of vibrators.

Best sex position for clitoral stimulation

Clit stimulation is not only good on its own, but when used during penetration it can deliver extraordinary results.

But do you know the best positions for clitoral stimulation? Here are some of the best positions I really enjoy:

1. Spooning Position

Spooning with your partner can bring you both together, and when you blend that with penetration and clit stimulation, the pleasure can be limitless.

With clit free access, you only need to spread your legs a little and you or your partner can stimulate your clit. 

spooning sex position

Image Credit: Kinkly

2. Snake Position

With you lying down on your stomach, you will be able to stimulate your clit with your fingers or a toy while your partner enters you from behind.

As your partner rocks your world literally, you get to take control of pleasuring your clit and explode with joy. 

snake sex position

Image Credit: Women's Health

3. Reverse Cowgirl Position

In this position, while he lies on his back, you can sit on the top, facing away from him.

Because you are in absolute control, you can stimulate your clit while you ride him.

reverse cowgirl sex position

Image Credit: Kinkly

4. Missionary Position

The missionary is one of the most popular positions for clit pleasure.

The only issue is that it can limit your space for movements, so why not add a pillow under your butt to lift yourself up a bit?

Then you can spread your legs a little more and enjoy the feeling of feeling your partner entering you while you pleasure yourself. 

Plus, you will be able to maintain eye contact which can increase the intensity of your intimacy.

missionary sex position

Image Credit: Kinkly

5. Table-Top Position

The table-top position enables intense penetration and constant eye contact. Meanwhile, it provides easy access to the clitoris.

Either partner can stimulate with their hands or a small clit toy.

If you are tired of having sex on the bed, this can be an ideal alternative. Also, f*cking on the table is a fantasy for many men. 

table top sex position

Image Credit: Kinkly

6. Doggy-Style Position

The doggy-style movement works great when you want your partner to stimulate the clitoris for you.

This position allows for deep penetration. Most women experience more intense internal stimulation in this position. Also, it is extremely easy to access the clit. 

You can either stimulate the clit yourself or ask your partner to take total control.

doggy style sex position

Image Credit: Kinkly

These are my recommended 6 positions. If you're not used to stimulating yourself while having sex, take it slow and see what works best for both of you.

Don't be frustrated if it takes some to get it right. It took me quite many times to find out the right way as well.

Taking your time often makes the biggest difference so don't rush the process.

As for those of you who are more adventurous, I suggest getting a sex pillow to explore. 

I use the one from Liberator. It is firm, easy to clean, and enabled me to try many new and fun positions.

Also, I find a model like Liberator Wedge is very beginner-friendly and it makes women more comfortable in certain positions (e.g. missionary & cowgirl).

sex pillow positions

Image Credit: Kinkly


Now that you have some dos and don'ts when it comes to clit stimulation you've got some ways to make the experience better for you.

Remember, every woman experiences clit stimulation differently and it’s a wonderful journey to explore your body and understand what you enjoy.

Because once you take the time, open your mind and try to learn what works for you, you’ll be surprised to find how much more intense of a time you can have thanks to the little sweet clit.  

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Form Build November 15, 2022 - 12:47 am

Great stuff.
Truly looking for a great experience with my ladys flower …
Sucking the nectar …

Jason April 8, 2023 - 4:58 pm



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