HOW TO USE SEX TOYS: A Guide to Pleasure Yourself and Your Partner

by Jane Louis
how to use sex toys

Whether you're searching for tools to heighten your at-home personal play or you're looking to spice up your relationship with some kinkier public play, learning how to use sex toys is helpful all-around.

However, there is more to consider than just what shape and size the toys come in. It's also important to understand which shops you can trust and how to distinguish body-safe materials.

Keep reading to find out more about the potential benefits sex toys provide, where to buy safe options that best satisfy your needs and how to use sex toys properly by yourself or with a special friend.

WHY SHOULD WOMEN USE SEX TOYS?

vibrator joke

While men tend to have an easier solo session just using their hands, women often experience more trouble reaching that climactic moment with their fingers alone.

To make things easier, sex toys allow you to target your sensitive spots with the intensity you desire. Some vibrators target clitoral stimulation while others shake your G-spot with satisfying sensations.

In addition to the physical pleasure they offer, sex toys also give women peace of mind when it comes to understanding their bodies and preferences.

Instead of a toy replacing your partner, it merely makes your future sex life more informed and tailored to your needs.

Moreover, sex toys help with your health. If you are experiencing a loss of libido or vulvar pain, vibrators offer relief with their vibrations acting as a comforting massager. This soothes the area and allows you to drift into a more relaxing night's sleep afterward.

Finally, sex toys often act as kegel exercisers. Performing kegel exercises helps to strengthen your pelvic muscles and avoid issues in your bladder, uterus, small intestine and rectum.

On the sexier side, kegel exercises also make your vagina feel tighter and intensify squeezing sensations right before an orgasm.

GENERAL TIPS ABOUT SEX TOYS

While you're probably wondering how to use sex toys, it is first important to understand your preferences and how to best protect your health. After all, using the wrong toy will leave you unsatisfied and possibly in pain. To keep your experience pleasurable, follow these general tips below.

1. Consider Your Preferences When Choosing A Toy

First, when purchasing a sex toy, you should consider which area of your body you want to target.​

Like we mentioned above, some are best for clitoral stimulation, while others positively play with your G-spot. In addition, there are sex toys designed for anal play and options to use as a couple.

It really comes down to determining your personal preferences and finding the ideal toy to suit those needs.

Be honest with yourself and delve deep into what really gets you going. If certain kinks are keeping you from an in-person sex shop experience, head online where you can pick in private.

2. Make Your Purchases From A Trusted Online Sex Shop.

sex shop

Click here to read about which trusted online shops to go for sex toys.

Once you've narrowed down sex toys to a more specific category, it's time to start sorting out the bad choices.

With the internet offering endless options, not all online shops will provide long-lasting, body-safe materials. Stick to trusted sites like SheVibe, Adam & Eve, and Lovehoney. In addition, shops with a storefront often stock basic high-selling products. 

On the other hand, online shops like Tantus and Stockroom reach out to more communities, offering LGBTQ and BDSM options.

Check out this full list of trusted sex shop sites to see which best suits your individual needs.

3. Understand What "Body-Safe Materials" Truly Means

So what does it mean to be body-safe? The sex toy industry is unregulated, giving companies pretty much free-reign when it comes to product design.

Instead of blindly trusting a product marketed as "body-safe," keep reading to learn the qualities that truly make it safe for use.

First, search for sex toys made from non-porous materials. Since you can't clean porous sex toys, this can make them toxic to your body and lead to infection.

Toys made from glass are great for this purpose. However, if the glass chips, it's time to retire the toy to avoid injury.

material sex toy

However, the common problem associated with glass sex toys is they are too firm and do not conform to your unique body.

With this in mind, your search may lead you in the direction of a non-porous toy that is a bit softer and more flexible.

Silicone is considered the safe bendy option that allows the toy to twist to all your hot spots, while still being easy-to-clean. However, be cautious of products attempting to imitate silicone.

Some manufacturers include phthalates to make plastic products more flexible. This is not only toxic to your body but also bad for the environment, giving off carcinogens and harming the reproductive system.

Small amounts of phthalates pass toxicity for thin shower curtains and wallpaper. However, the amount needed for thick sex toy materials is far too much for constant contact with your body, especially in your most sensitive areas.

4. Remember Some Toys Have Accessories

Finally, don't forget about the accessories that go along with the sex toy you're purchasing. In addition to the product itself, there may be add-ons sold separately that are required or helpful for use.

This especially applies to wand massager, such as the famous Hitachi wand and the ultra strong doxy. If you get a wand that is attachable with any regular third-party heads, it can easily and wonderfully expand your orgasmic experience. 

Magic Wand plus third-party attachment

5. Batteries and Chargers

While higher-end vibrators operate with a charger, some of the cheaper choices call for changeable batteries. If this is the case, it's best to buy your batteries at the same time you buy the toy.

After all, certain brands of vibrators won't operate using normal alkaline batteries. Skipping out on the suggested batteries for your toy to save a few bucks, may leave you with a dildo instead of a vibrator the first time you attempt to use it.

Even with the options that power up with standard alkaline batteries, in doing so, you can harm and reduce motor life. Therefore, it's best to stick with the heavy-duty battery options to experience the best results.

6. Recommended Lubricants

Getting yourself wet and ready-to-go naturally isn't always easy and can be time-consuming for some women. To make matters worse, when doing things yourself, your partner isn't around to engage in foreplay.

This rushed combination often sends solo sessions into dry and even painful situations.

To eliminate the foreplay factor, massaging lubricant on to your sensitive areas beforehand will make the initial insertion process more comfortable. 

Many women consciously use lube while having vaginal or anal play, however, it is easily to forget applying lube when you're stimulating the clit. 

Believe me, lubricant can be a very friendly when your clit is sensitive. Besides, if you play to have multiple orgasms in a raw, it's better to apply lube on your clit from the beginning so that your clitoris won't be overly-stimulated along the process.

sex toy lube

There are three types of lubricants: water-based, silicone-based and oil-based. First off, water-based lubes have the most versatility by working with all sex toys and being easy to clean. They offer the best option when using a lubricant with sex toys.

Next, silicone-based lubes are best for sensitive skin because they are hypoallergenic. However, silicone-based lubes cannot be used with silicone toys because it deteriorates the surface over time and causes bacteria to form. This makes them not always ideal for use with sex toys.

Finally, oil-based lubricants offer the slickest surface and don't need to keep being reapplied. While they are capable of use with sex toys, they are also the hardest to clean, the messiest on your bedding and the most likely to cause infections.

Besides, oil-based lubricants can damage latex material, which means it goes against most condoms. 

7. Maintain and Clean Sex Toy

Last but not least, when thinking about sex toys, you shouldn't just consider what you'll need while it's in-use.

It's also important to think about how you are going to clean it in between uses to keep yourself healthy, infection-free and long-lasting.

Depending on your preferred cleaning style, (online) sex shops offer sprays, foaming cleansers and wipes to keep your toys fresh.

For waterproof sex toys, you can simply clean them with warm soapy water and then just rinse it thoroughly. But for non-waterproof sex toys, I think the cleaners can be a more risk-free option. 

Always make sure that you dry the sex toy well before storing it because it can largely increase usage life of a toy. This especially applies to electric toys. 

how to clean sex toys

HOW TO USE SEX TOYS BY YOURSELF

Now comes the fun part, learning how to use sex toys for some at-home play. Check out these tips for individual use below.

1. Treat yourself with specific stimulation.

Depending on which area you're looking to stimulate, certain toys are better at getting the job done. This includes options designed for clitoral or G-spot stimulation and even anal play.

1

Clitoral Stimulation 

Rabbit, wand and bullet vibrators are ideal when it comes to clitoral stimulation. Rabbit vibrators have both an insertion component and clitoral stimulator, while wands focus solely on your little hot spot. 


As for bullet vibes, they usually are light, small and easy-to-carry. Despite of the size, some bullets, such as we-vibe Tango and Lelo Lily 2, can embrace very powerful vibrations. 


With all the options, you typically hold or maneuver the vibrator while it massages and delivers satisfying pulsations.


The Wand Massagers works well for relaxation when set on its milder settings but can lead to intense leg-shaking orgasms operating on its higher settings. It typically needs to be plugged in during use. My very first wand was the famous hitachi, now I've replaced with its newer version, the Magic Wand Plus.


As for Rabbit Vibrators, they typically hold a charge instead and provide that added insertion component, which targets all your hot spots at once. 


In this category, the Womanizer Duo provides the ultimate pleasure. As a rabbit vibrator, the insertion component curves to target your G-spot. However, its clitoral stimulation is what truly makes it stand out. The device uniquely wraps around your clitoris, using pulsating air waves instead of harsh vibrations to deliver pleasure.


Last but not least, let's talk about how Bullet Vibrators can be divine for the clit. this kind of vibe usually are rechargeable and some can even be controlled remotely.


While rabbit vibrators can many times be anatomy-based, bullet vibrators tend for work for everyone. If you are a power queen, go for them intense and rumbly ones like Tango. If you prefer strong yet still gentle stimulations, products like Ambi and Vibease can be great options.

2

G-spot Stimulation

Next, G-spot stimulation is best achieved with vibrators with a head that is slightly curved. This allows the toy to bend up into your internal orgasm-inducing spot.

G-spot vibrators

Click here to read more about G-spot vibrators. 

While partners often think the best G-spot stimulation is hard and fast, in reality, your G-spot likely prefers more teasing strokes. The Fun Factory Stronic G does just that with a satisfying steady rhythm. In addition to pulsing, the vibrator has a thrusting effect.

Moreover, inserting a toy from behind instead of from the front, helps to reach your G-spot a little easier. This also makes the Stronic G the ideal G-spot stimulator because you can rest it against a pillow to keep it supported for hands-free thrusting.

One thing I must point out is that it's completely if you have hard time finding your G-spot or enjoying G-spot stimulation. In fact, many women have trouble to experience good orgasmic moment when it comes to G-spot. 

G-spot

Therefore, it's important to be patient and take your time (Yes, it's normal to take years to find your G-spot). 


Stronic G is quite an intense pulsator. So, if you prefer to start slowly, you can try a toy like Zalo Queen or just a simple non-electric toy like Njoy Pure Wand

3

Anal Play

While the clitoris and G-spot are typically the most common areas women look to target during solo sessions, you shouldn't rule out anal play.


Exploring on your own often makes it easier to experiment with a partner later. In addition, anal play for men helps to target the prostate, the male G-spot equivalent.


However, when trying out anal play, it's best to come equipped with a lubricant. Unlike with a vagina, the backdoor offers less natural options to get things started.


Good for beginners, the Lovense Hush is a vibrating butt plug that targets anal stimulation. In addition, it gathers lubricant near its base during use to make it easier to remove afterwards.


It could be embarrassing, but it is totally normal if you leave some feces after pulling the toy out. Actually, it's almost impossible to manage not leaving anything on the toy. So, don't panic if that happens to you. 


If you really want to make sure a clean experience during anal play, you could consider enema. 

!! Note that it's really important to understand how to process enema by yourself, because a wrong practice can be harmful to your body.

2. Learn How to Make Use of Your Toy's Unique Features

When using sex toys for individual use, in addition to getting to know your body you should also get to know your toys.

Modern enhancements allow many sex toys to operate hands-free so your hands can wander to other pleasure points while you play.

In addition, some toys, such as We-vibe Moxie and Lovense Lush, link to your smartphone and allow you to sync up vibrations to your favorite songs or sounds, making the experience more exciting.

It's worth trying out all the special settings your toy has to offer. After all, you may find a new orgasm-inducing favorite during your experiment.

HOW TO USE SEX TOYS AS A COUPLE

Sex toys aren't just fun when playing alone. They also offer exciting foreplay options for couples, enhancements during sex and kinky alternatives for getting a little freaky in public.

1. Use Toys For Foreplay and Bedroom Sex

Sex toys provide the ideal foreplay option because they save you and your partner's energy for the main event while heightening the excitement beforehand.

Bringing a Hitachi Magic Wand Plus to the bedroom with your partner gets your clitoris tingling in anticipation before anything is even inserted. After all, it is considered the best wand on the market.

Using sex toys like the wand for foreplay instead of individual use also provides a more intense experience that will have you quickly jumping on each other.

By letting your partner control the toy, you will be pushed beyond your normal limits. The added orgasms and pleasure are often so strong it can cause squirting.

In addition, sex toys don't just have to refer to wands, vibrators or butt plugs. Sex toys also encompass the accessories like sexy costumes, bed restraints and props.

Bringing whips and ties, a sex swing or themed props to the bedroom can bring you and your partner's fantasies to life.

2. Experiment With Public Play and Keep Your Long-distance Sex Life Hot

With partner play, you are not just limited to your bedroom. Sex toys like vibrating panties make public play possible, providing a sexy dirty secret for you and your partner.

This can mean sending teasing vibrations during date night at a restaurant or temporarily stealing your partner's focus away from a movie.

The heart-racing tease of wondering if people around you are picking up on your pleasure, will have you extra turned on and eager to get back home for some fun.

use vibrator in public

Click here to read more about how to use vibrators in public.

In addition, these types of remote controllable public toys typically operate through smartphone apps for discreet use, allowing device control from across the room.

This idea extends even further with some toys allowing long-distance play from other countries. Therefore, this is ideal for couples that travel often or live in separate cities.

The Lovense Lush 2 and Ohmibod Esca 2 work best in both scenarios because they is small enough to slip in your favorite pair of panties while being strong enough to deliver mind-blowing orgasms.

Moreover, the devices go undetected with its nearly silent vibrations that come in unlimited customizable patterns. They can also sync to music and your partner's voice making public or long-distance experiences more personal.

FINAL WORDS

Now that you have some methods of how to use sex toys, the only decision you have left is if you are going to save the fun for yourself or share it with a partner.

Sex toys are not something that should stay stigmatized. After all, in addition to tantalizing pleasure, they are also good for your health if you invest in the right products.

Choosing the right sex toys is all about paying attention to the materials and functions. Doing your research and following the tips will ensure you have the most pleasurable experience.

Good Luck 🙂

signature Jane L

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