Why You Can’t Orgasm From Vaginal Sex Alone (& Solutions)

by Jane Louis
Orgasm From Vaginal Sex

Have you ever encountered the dreadful situation when you are in the middle of penetrative sex, enjoying every hit but just can’t come? Were you wondering what’s wrong with your body? The short answer: it absolutely normal and you are not alone! The long answer, on the other hand, requires a deeper dive into human’s anatomy. Mostly, how your body is triggered to orgasm doesn’t solely rely on the famous G-spot. The fact you put too much attention to your G-spot can actually lower the possibility of naturally reach an orgasm (If you are one of the women who’s still not sure where the G-spot is, I will cover that question as well in the article).

What is Vaginal Sex?

Vaginal sex happens when a penis or a sex toy goes inside a vagina. Vaginal Walls are pleated, which enables it to open up and stretch like an umbrella during penetrative sex. Typically, your vagina can expand up to 2 inches (5 cm) wide during sex, which explains why an erected penis is averagely 3.66 inches (9.31 cm) in girth.

One myth about the vagina is that more penetrative sex can make it less tight. This is totally wrong! Your vagina can always go back to its usual tightness after sex because the vaginal muscles are incredibly elastic. If you are experiencing sex dry spell, your vagina won’t shrink or get tighter either.

What Does a Vaginal Orgasm Feel Like?

Vaginal Orgasm is also called a G-spot orgasm. It’s rather difficult to describe how a G-spot orgasm feels like, but I will try to put the feelings in words.

Generally speaking, vaginal orgasms are more intense because the shivering climax extends to the whole body as if ripples turn into a tsunami. You will feel completely out of control. You will naturally tighten your body, especially the vaginal area, ready to take more hits on the G-spot.

If a man or a dildo continuously thrust like a piling machine while you are reaching it, the orgasm can be well-extended and you may even reach multiple small orgasms in one. At the core of a climax, you can feel nearly black out.

Unlike clitoral orgasm, the intensity of a vaginal orgasm really depends on the strength and the duration from thrusting and hitting.

Where’s the G-spot?

G-spot is the key to enjoying vaginal sex. so, does G-spot exist? The short answer: Yes, it does!

I personally don’t like the fact people name it “G-spot” because it’s not really a spot. It’s rather an area that is more sensitive and different women require a different kind of stimulation in this area in order to feel good. I myself also explored for so many years before actually finding the G-spot. It’s all about using the correct way to explore, G-spot does exist!

Just like a belly button isn’t in the same exact place on any two people. Neither does G-spot. Generally speaking, G-spot is located on the frontal vaginal wall, so, that’s the belly button side of the vagina.

G-spot

(picture from bodysculptor.com)

There’re actually three different types of G-spots and that’s why we see this huge diversity in how people enjoy getting off from G-spot stimulation. Some people have really sensitive g-spot, some people need a lot of pressure, some people need thrusting to stimulate the G-spot.

There’s no right or wrong way about how to simulate the G-spot as long as it feels good to YOU and you’re enjoying yourself.

The best way to find a G-spot would be to insert one or two fingers-they can be your own or others ;). And then make a come-hither signal to explore.

Tips on texture: Most of the vagina feels like the inside of your cheek, the G-spot has more texture to it so it’s gonna feel like the roof of your mouth

How Long Does Penetrative Sex Usually Last?

Sex duration has been an ever-green concern for many couples. A formal research conducted by Dr. Corty EW revealed that normal sexual intercourse tends to last between 3 to 13 minutes and the majority of couples fall in 3 to 7 minutes range.

Besides, Lovehoney (A prestigious sex toy retailer) made a survey on 4400 customers about sex duration and found that sex averagely lasts for 19 minutes, (usually) including 10 minutes of foreplay and 9 minutes of penetrative sex.

With these being found out, it is obvious that there’s only a very short amount of time for women to actually anticipate in vaginal sex. Thus, it somewhat explains why so many women can’t orgasm or can’t even enjoy penetration. The research results also give a good backup on why it’s so important to spend time on foreplay and why sex toys like dildos and vibrators can be good tools that help women to be better prepared for vaginal sex (I will talk about tips and ideas about foreplay and sex toys later).

Other than limited erection time men can provide, is there any other reason why penetrative sex doesn’t feel good for many women? More precisely, why vaginal sex can be uncomfortable, or even painful for many women. Vaginal pain during penetrative sex is mainly caused by two reasons.

  1. Vaginismus. Your vaginal muscles may contract involuntarily due to this symptom, which makes it difficult for penetrative sex, or even using a tampon. Physical therapy or psychological counseling can help relieve or cure vaginismus.
  2. Vulvodynia. This is way rarer and requires antidepressants to lessen the pain.

How to Better Enjoy Vaginal Sex?

Woman’s body isn’t constructed to reach orgasm solely from vaginal penetration. However, the thrusting movement is quite essential for both sexual sensation and couple intimacy. During penetrative sex, your vaginal muscles may be tense at the beginning, but penetration shouldn’t be painful. NEVER! The following tips can help you better enjoy vaginal sex.

Relax your body and mind

A prepared mind and relaxed body are the keys to achieving vaginal orgasm. You can’t enjoy vaginal sex probably due to the fact that you put too much attention to the penetration process. You’d better simply let your body to feel the movement and just naturally do what makes you feel good.

Don’t force your body to feel the penetration. Study shows that stress and psychological obstacles are the main reasons that caused women from enjoying vaginal sex. You should allow yourself to be fully relaxed and enjoy the sex process.

Besides, there shouldn’t be the pressure to please the man. Your vagina will contract naturally if it’s enjoying the penetration. If there’s some pain, tell your man to stop! Also, you must let go of negative feelings such as guilt, embarrassment, etc. Learn to Love your body and your body will respond to you!

Find a Good Position

Different positions can create wholly different sensations during sex.

Missionary position is the most common one for penile-vaginal intercourse. The position requires the man to do the majority part of the work and it allows the women to feel more relaxed and adjust the intensity yourself. If you leave your legs on the bed, it’s the easiest to take some penetration. And the more you lift your legs, the more you can feel the penetration. So, the intensity is totally under your control. Besides, with this position, you can easily communicate your feeling to your man.

Another recommended position is “doggy style”. This position really requires good foreplay. You must get well-moisten before letting the penis in. In this position, the penis can reach further and give really strong and firm hits on the G-spot. I am not kidding, it can really really intense and you can even slightly curve down your waist to further intensify the sensation. Once you learn how to enjoy this position, there is way more chance to reach vaginal orgasm compared to the missionary position.

Sitting position (women on the top) is also quite ideal. You can do it either face to face or back to face. With this kind of position, you can control the angle, speed, and depth from the penetration. This leaves you full of control. I don’t recommend this position for women who are at the exploratory stage. This position requires more techniques. Also, it’s harder for your body to feel relaxed when you are in control of the penetration.

sex position vaginal sex(Picture Reference: Fitness Magazine)

Take care of the clitoris

Do you know that your clitoris has 8000 sensory nerve endings, which is doubled compared to the penis? That somewhat explains why most women can reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation, but only some can reach vaginal orgasm.

Besides, a recently conducted study shows that 37 percent of American women can’t reach orgasm without clitoral stimulation to and only 18 percent of the women can come with vaginal penetration alone.

With these being said, I would like to mention again that you should NOT feel bad if not being able to reach vaginal orgasm. This is totally normal.

You should not hesitate to involve your clitoris during sex. Actually, I recommend to greatly involve clitoral stimulation during sex. Doggy style and sitting position both are really ideal for giving clit stimulation while receiving penetration. A good bullet vibrator can also be really useful in this case. If you use a rumbly vibrator while your man is thrusting, the vibration can even transfer to his penis and give some enjoyable sensation.

Use a generous amount of lubricant

Lubrication is essential for reaching a successful vaginal orgasm, especially when a woman is having difficulty to get wet due to hormones, menopause, stress, etc.

You should always have a bottle of lubricant in your bedhead drawer. Lubricants can really help to add moisture and make the penetration process smoother and more enjoyable.

This inexpensive little thing can play a big role in your vaginal orgasm. If you use silicone sex toys during sex, make sure only use water-based lubricant, otherwise, your toy can be damaged. Also, oil and silicone-based lubricant can breakdown condoms, try to avoid them!

Communication during sex

You may already have a nice bottle of lubricant and a great sex toy to assist, however, people tend to forget one simple thing – communication!

What are your fantasies? What can make you feel good? What hurts you? Where are your sensitive spots? You need to openly communicate all these with your partner.

There’s nothing to be ashamed about and don’t limit yourself! Share your preferences, your fantasies, turn-offs, everything. These will help you get more involved and relaxed during sex, hence, increase the chance of achieving vaginal orgasm.

Foreplay Tips and Ideas Before Penetrative Sex

foreplay vaginal sex

The goal of foreplay is to get you into the sexual mood and let the vagina begins to moisten. There’s no right or wrong way to do that – you can do it through kissing, touching, caressing, licking, communicating and much more. You can even use sex toys, such as using Wand to relax your body muscles, using low vibration to stimulate your clit, or even put a clip on your nipples.

Besides, take your time! There’s no rush to jump into vaginal sex. Averagely, women take about 20 minutes to get aroused from foreplay while men only need 3-5 minutes. There’s nothing wrong that woman’s body needs more time to feel aroused. If a man doesn’t willing to spend the time to put you into a sexual mood, it’s a sign that you won’t really enjoy the vaginal sex, not mentioned reaching a vaginal orgasm.

Best G-spot Toys For Reaching Penetrative Sex

You don’t need a man to reach vaginal orgasm. A good G-spot vibrator can take you on a wonderful journey. Below are the 4 vibrators I used and found effective and pleasurable.

1. Lelo Mona Wave

Mona Wavewaterproof and rechargeable G-spot vibrator. It comes with two motions to explore your G-spot: vibrations and “come-hither” movements. This toy has a premium finish and the size of the toy is not intimidating even for beginners. The “come-hither” motion from this toy is just amazing, it can tip you over the edge from what would have been an OK orgasm to something so much more.

Read More about Lelo Mona Wave…
Lelo mona wave 3 colors

2. Lelo Soraya

Soraya is one of the most luxurious rabbit vibrators and has been among the bestsellers from Lelo for years.  It is a stylish and rechargeable dual-action vibrator with a number of advanced features. To be honest, the quality is outstanding!

Thanks to the silky touch and the strong vibrator, it brings women divine orgasm. The size of the Soraya is longer and larger than average in the market, which provides a deeper and stronger sensation. Besides, it is 100% waterproof and it has a comfortable grip to let you enjoy yourself while taking a shower.

Read More about Lelo Soraya…

LELO SORAYA colors

3. We-Vibe Nova

Nova by We-vibe is an incredibly well made and flexible dual vibrator and it has strong vibrations.

This rabbit vibe is unlike any others. Why? Both the shaft and the clitoral arm are curved, making the shaft perfect for G-spot stimulation. The idea behind the clitoral arm is that you’re able to manipulate it to fit your body type. The actual design is so as you thrust the vibrator the clitoral arm (in theory) should not lose contact with your clitoris as it’s extremely flexible.

Besides, Nova incorporates the long-distance function, which means it’s fully compatible with the We-Vibe App and that my partner can control the Nova for me when we’re not together.

Read More about We-vibe Nova…

We-vibe nova app

4. We-Vibe Rave

Rave is one of the best G-spot vibrators in the market. It has a velvety surface and it comes with some incredibly intense rumbling vibrationsThis powerful and body-safe vibrator can be controlled via the handle or the We-Connect app. The distant control function makes this toy great for both solo play and partnered play over a long distance.

This toy measures 7.5 in/191 mm in length and 4 in/100 mm in insertable length. Plus, this toy has an asymmetrical shape and it features a soft edge. All these features make it feel fantastic internally.

Rave has 10 different vibration modes. The vibrations on this vibrator are amazing, they’re exactly what I hoped for when I learned about this toy. They’re strong, rumbling and everything that vibrations in a vibrator should be.

Read More about We-vibe Rave…

wevibe rave app control

5. We-Vibe Sync

We-vibe Sync is the best toy to use during penetrative sex. It’s a wearable dual vibrator that is designed to fit any body anatomy (Yes, it’s a very flexible toy). And this toy can be used to stimulate clitoris and G-spot separately or at the same time!

This vibrator can be controlled with an app at any distance and there’s numerous of vibration patterns that constantly keep you on the edge or aim to bring you orgasm repeatedly.

Sync is a very adjustable toy! The G-spot arm and the clitoral arm can be pulled apart until they’re basically at a 180-degree angle, it can also be pushed together pretty tightly, or you can make the angle anything in between. The joint of the G-spot arm can also be bent inwards and outwards. So, this little magical thing really is designed to fit any body anatomy! 

Read More about We-vibe Sync…

we-vibe sync set

Conclusion

No matter you are someone who can reach orgasm by vaginal sex alone, or you need external stimulation (e.g. clit stimulation) to enjoy an orgasmic experience. It’s always important to love your body and do what your body actually wants and don’t force things to happen. All sex is beautiful and all types of orgasms are wonderful! 🙂

signature Jane L

 

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